Today I'm excited,
I feel weightless
A man on fire - I glow
I've been away for far too long
To find myself,
To be found,
In the midst of loosing,
Lost,
battered and bruised,
I survived.
Up-beat, steady pace - I walk
remembering the golden days,
Sun was the limit,
seemingly limitless.
The prodigal son returns,
Home,
Where I belong.
I came to this place, which was ever so green,
I was attacked by people around me monstrous to be seen,
with desperation counted my days,
helpless, flabbergasted with cuts and bruised in terrible ways
Then came the light lasted few desperate lives,
escape wasn't an option until my heart was pierced despite the worthless dives.
Am I to stay here, should I leave? left me with a difficult choice,
Or should I proudly fight a hopeless battle with no rejoice.
I learnt my survival as I was crowded with the shadows that went passing me by,
I was gradually digging my own grave as the days went by
God! send me a message from heaven or a clue of some sort
"I shall not quit" I said to myself as I helplessly fought
Finally with God's grace, I got a break to find my way back
The damn silver line was quite visible comforting me like a sweet mint fag
I took a chance to gulp the drink from my last cup of sorrow,
With a wish of hope, freedom, wealth and a sane tomorrow
I've counted by last days to finally arrive here
With a sigh of relief, head held high, I walk without fear,
I hold no regrets, my mind filled with memories and I couldn't ask for more,
"Be gone" I said to myself, without hesitation now here, I go.....
Never I've seen such grace,
Gleaming
with a gentle smiley face.
Contagious,
mystical,
true sense of gloriousness.
I stare,
Drawn to the hungry glares,
Drawn to the sugary dips,
flips,
and smiles.
Definitely a gorgeous sight
undeniable true grace,
Moses!
yes, I'm color blind '
two gleaming pearls!!
green?
Black?
Brown?
Does it matter?
No, I've got very little to offer, your grace
Hands empty,
slips,
Smiles,
Still complete - Graciousness.
Don't go too close
I tell myself,
guaranteed broken heart,
such a lovable soul,
I still stare.
I think,
he's the fool
most definitely, yes
completely,
Doesn't he know?
Much he knows,
About the flower that blossoms,
smile of summer
is a smile for all seasons.
17.05.2013
Storming breeze,
refreshes my senses
under the soothing sun,
dipped in the cooling sea
Glimpse of the fading sun,
mesmerized,
I realized
Best things in life, are for free
Joyful birthday song,
non-branded cake
childish blow, at the blazing flame,
never gets old,
loved ones
Best things in life, are for free
Stoney pot head,
under the sea of stars
lame fumes of laughter, Too much to take
Breathless,
Food ain't free, but,
it is the invaluable company
Best things in life, are for free
Water splashes,
blinded my eyes
Life is a race,
only with Dyan
Firm grip, Rush never ends
Best things in life,
are for free
16.05.2013
Anxiety is a word that is commonly used and felt during Pandemic. It is true that we are living in this state of transition adapting to all sorts of new realities.
First we had the lockdowns, we thought it was fantastic. It was a perfect time do things that we wouldn't normally do or we thought it was best time to rekindle dormant thoughts that we park in our minds in the past years. People rested well, spent time with their families, working from home was a perfect reality and we were thinking about doing something productive during the time at home. We thought about self improvement, like playing an instrument, reading books, cooking, gardening, exercising, building online friendships and romances etc. We also thought lockdown was something temporary, although COVID was becoming serious in other countries with the death rates piling up, we thought we were special. We were unbreakable, untouchable, blessed and in fact at one point we managed to get rid of the 'monstrous' Corona from our country. Weren't we the fools to think that we can go back to our normal lives, then all of a sudden, surprise surprise, 'reality' made a dramatic comeback and gave us a reality check. It made us go back to lockdown and start all over, And this time we were forced to do it right.
The only thing that we can be certain during this time, ironically would be 'uncertainty'. Honestly, if you think about it, uncertainty has been always there in our lives. We have adapted well to counter it with our everyday routine and relationships. But now since both these elements have changed drastically, we cannot work well with the cancer 'uncertainty', we foster anxiety. Anxiety feeds into wide range of emotions that can lock you down even without the government stipulations. When we let it be, it manages to gain control over us, it will happily guide us into depression that would eventually bring us to thrive on committing murder upon ourselves. Some have actually stopped thinking about suicide because of the whole cremation or the burial issue. We have come to a stage where people can't even commit suicide if they want to. It is sad but true!
It was all the same to me, anxiety was becoming my new best friend. We had short but an intense relationship. In fact I thought anxiety was favoring me for some reason. It was becoming too attached not letting me go. Those were days of surviving and self learning. I took my time to reflect upon what was happening around me. Most importantly I realized that I become anxious about the things I cannot control.
Interestingly Buddha has stated, 'Most of the Stress and anxiety comes from the way we respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude and all that extra stress would be gone'
As a firm believer of faith and as a practitioner, I started to ponder on this. I reflected why it is necessary to take a step back and understand why I am stressing myself out. I attempted change my mindset and realign my responding mechanism. I can safely say anxiety took a hike leaving me a note even before I realized it.
Like every emotion 'anxiety' is simulated in our minds therefore we can only address it through reflection, understanding and taking action from our minds. It is all in our minds!
In conclusion, I'd like to leave this thought,
Indeed, with every hardship there is ease. (Quran 94:6)
It helps us realize that there's light out there, it is matter of finding it.
